ByProbably you’ve read John 14:15 several times and always thought of obeying the commands of God in His Word and not about marriage. However, I woke up one day, got to the scripture and was shocked at how the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to understand how John 14:15 simplifies marriage, especially for women. Before we delve in deeper by continuing this article reading, read the scripture for yourself.
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
John 14:15 (NKJV)
Christ the head, the Church is His bride
Ephesians 5:22-33 is an excerpt from Paul’s letter to the Ephesian church that breaks down the teaching of how physical marriage is a replication of the spiritual marriage between Christ and the Church. So before God, Jesus is the head, and the global connection of believers forms the Church, which is His bride. However, Jesus is a man, so the Church, in the context of gender, is a “woman.” That is why women can preach in churches because it’s never against the plan of God.
God spells love as s-u-b-m-i-s-s-i-o-n, just as men spell love as r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
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Since Jesus is a man, there are mysteries in the Word that shows the needs of men that Jesus also seeks. It’s called submission. According to Ephesians 5:22, scripture says,
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Ephesians 5:22 (NKJV)
There can’t be meaningful submission if an authority figure is missing. Jesus is the head, so His Church ought to submit to Him. That is why scriptures like James 4:7, talking about submitting yourself to God, link to marriage.
God spells love as s-u-b-m-i-s-s-i-o-n, just as men spell love as r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You’ve got to recognise the authority of God upon your life. And also, you must understand God’s hierarchy of authority as explained in 1 Corinthians 11:3.
Wives, submit to your husbands
Just as Jesus gives and expects us to keep (guard against loss or forgetfulness) His commands, so godly husbands need respect from their wives. Have you realised that it’s written that,
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)
It doesn’t say, “… the wife must love her husband.” Why? Because men value respect a lot. Women, please understand that men don’t think as you do. Men are instructional by nature; God put it in them. So the moment you start disrespecting them by speaking harshly at them, you attack their core identity as men. And it’ll only be a matter of time before you realise you’re losing them.
Even though Ephesians 5:33 speaks about marriage, you may ask, “What about dating relationships?” Well, I heard a Christian counsellor say that the attitudes you show in dating magnify in marriage. Even though I’m not yet married, I’ve observed many couples show this principle in their marriage. They don’t change after marriage.
So if this is true, why not learn submission as a godly girlfriend in your God-made relationship to your future husband? That isn’t about becoming a less-than. It’s about learning and preparing to enter marriage.
Husbands, love your wives
Every good husband thinks about bringing out the best in the wife. Jesus does the same thing. Every instruction He gives to any of His children is for his good; so that his life will become gradually transformed to be more Christ-like. Ephesians 5:25-27 (NIV) says,
“[25]Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, [27] and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
According to this verse, Jesus shows how a husband is to love his wife.
- By giving himself to her (give her your time and affection).
- To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word (offer her spiritual leadership by constantly teaching her the Word of God, which is able to deal with every inappropriate attitude in her life, known or unknown to you).
- Present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (bring her up in the fear and admonition of the Lord in order to help her fulfil her purpose).
From these revelations, it’s impossible to get a “perfect” woman to marry. Men, let it be in your consciousness that with whoever you choose to become your life partner, you’ve got to train her. Don’t mainly focus on providing for her financially. Teach her the Word of God. And that also means you’ve got to be grounded in the Word of God. Love her deeply at heart, but let the Lord lead you to build her up to be Christ-like.
