ByIn my few years on this earth, I’ve seen people deeply hurt by close friends and suffer harsh disappointments from people they relied on. Some of them tell me that because of what happened, they’ve decided not to trust anybody. And for others, they’re afraid to build genuine friendships because of the fear that they’ll be let down again. But despite all these evil happenings in our world, the most rewarding thing you can do is to forgive as Christ has forgiven you.
However, it’s most important to understand how Christ forgave you so that from that understanding, you can live an ever-forgiving life.
Your heart is too precious to God to let its content get affected by anything less of divine peace.
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How Christ forgave you
God sent Jesus Christ as His lamb to take away the sin of the world (see John 1:29). So when Jesus said, “It is finished” on the cross, He meant three things:
- He had accomplished everything the Father sent Him to do physically on this Earth.
- The debt of sin for the whole of humanity had been paid for with His blood just as required (see Hebrews 9:25).
- God has reconciled man unto Himself by breaking the wall of partition that separated us from Him.
So from the second point, God has fulfilled His promise in Hebrews 8:12 (NIV), which says,
[12] “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Christ shed His blood to ensure your sin had been paid for. And it’s by this understanding that Paul wrote Colossians 3:13 (NKJV):
“bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
Here are three mysteries about forgiveness you’ve got to always keep in mind:
1. Forgiveness frees the offended person’s hurt first before the offender
Did you know that hurt people hurt people? A person in pain will treat others around him with pain. And when you live with such people without discernment, you’ll be bitter at people, thinking they hate you. Friend, don’t be deceived. Many people living broken lives have chosen to keep people’s offences in their hearts, which is very unfortunate.
When you choose the way of forgiveness, even when your offender doesn’t apologise to you, you decide to live free of pain. It might not restore your relationship with the other fellow instantly, but it’ll help you at heart.
I heard one minister say a long time ago that, “Nobody has paid you rent to have a space for offences in your heart. So don’t allow their hurts to be kept in it.” Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV) also adds that,
[23] “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”
Your heart is too precious to God to let its content get affected by anything less of divine peace.
2. There are no exceptions to God’s command to forgive as written in Colossians 3:13
When you read Colossians 3:13, where God, through Apostle Paul, told us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us, you’ll not see any word like “except …”. That means God has told us to forgive anyone who offends us regardless of how harsh the sin is – including infidelity and murder.
If you find it hard to understand this, just reflect on the kinds of sins of the whole humanity placed on Jesus to die for. It even included murder. And if God is saying, “Forgive as Christ has forgiven you,” then I don’t think that offence is too harsh for you not to once you understand how Jesus paid for your sin.
Hurt people hurt people
3. When offended, don’t wait for the offender to approach you. Instead, approach him and confront his fault
Some people think it’s the duty of the people that offend them to initiate the process leading to relationship restoration. That’s wrong; Jesus never taught that.
He said in Matthew 18:15 NKJV (boldface mine) that,
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
Now read that carefully again, especially the bolded part. Jesus says the offended must approach the offender, not vice versa. So if you’re reading this and have been hurt before, you’re the one to initiate the process of relationship restitution, not the one who wronged you. And fortunately, there’s no timeline for it. That means there’s room for you to settle hurt issues in your heart that has been longstanding for ages.
In the verses continuing Matthew 18:15, Jesus nailed even more decentralised processes to deal with offences suppose the offended doesn’t accept his fault. You can read on for more insight.
But I believe Jesus did all these things for three reasons:
- Some offenders aren’t aware of the effects of their actions on others. Imagine arguing with someone who got raised in an environment people liked fighting. He would feel what he’s doing is normal unless confronted.
- Some offenders too intentionally decide not to care about what others think of them after hurting people.
- To prevent a root of bitterness from sprouting in your heart, resulting in waxing cold God’s love in you (see Matthew 24:12).
I do hope you enjoyed it. Go and practice what you’ve learnt.
